Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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