who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
