how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
