you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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