hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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