You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
