Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
