The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
bring money and cleavage
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
