remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize