You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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