Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
