So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
