He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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