is wine microwaveable?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
