I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
