honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
