so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
