Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
