Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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