i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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