Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
