i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize