Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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