I want to make a zoo with you.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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