i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
