My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
