Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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