problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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