it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
