Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
