I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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