Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
