The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
