Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody

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(561): View more from Florida

So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world

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(807): View more from Ontario

If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.

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(407): View more from Florida

I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.

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(207): View more from Maine

I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.

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