he puts the penis in happiness.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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