stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
