this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
