are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
