Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
