Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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