Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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