just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
