Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
