I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize