So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
