The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
