roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
