i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
