3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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