She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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