Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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