living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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