I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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