he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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