So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
