she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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