just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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