Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
