All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
