I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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