It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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