Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
