I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
