If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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