Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
