Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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