I don't usually arrange sex via text message
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
