If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
