I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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