the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
