WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize