I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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