so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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