What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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