On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
No subtext here. People are naked.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
